Take One Camera Roll
Joe was glad of the work, for the income it had brought in. He had written from the heart, when the Department of Health had contacted his agency to tender for the commercial. Writing the script had forced him to address what had happened with Adele. Yes superficially it had been the booze and cigarettes which had ended her life early. Dying from a heart attack at forty, it was just not right.
He recalled all the party’s they had attended, before he got jealous, then the arguments had started. He knew that stress had been the real culprit.
This Post Has 43 Comments
A lovely trail of breadcrumbs to the answer
love your comment. Thank you so much.
Dear Michael,
One of the perks or drawbacks of being a writer is coming face to face with a few unpleasantries. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you. Mike
Captured the lesson about ‘write what you know’ well, and the truths that can emerge from doing that. Nicely done.
That’s a kind comment, thank you.
Brrrrr. Now I need a cup of hot coffee!
Sorry he was a grim character.
That story has a sting hidden in the tail. Well done.
Thank you Liz.
Nicely done. You deserve that cup of tea.
I needed it to feed the muse. I do love my cafe visits. Thank you
Yet…he’ll still profit by blaming the cigarettes and booze in the ad? There are layers to your story. Well done.
Nothing like having to face one’s part in the other’s demise… well done, Michael.
Oh, I do like where you took the prompt.
I want to hear more, Mike. The is great start for a short story, maybe.
Way to go!
I agree so much more to know!
That is the frustration of flash fiction. He was immature to start with – whilst she was blocked by her family from achieving what she desired. There I have given away to much already
It’s great to hear more
[Sometimes] I find the comment section that follows a piece of flash fiction is just fascinating, particularly when the comments draw attention to a area within the writing matter that I had no realised was there. And on occasions I find the story subject just wants to say more.
I am pleased that this piece of flash fiction worked, thank you for your kind comment.
Quite a burden to live with, whether his actions contributed to her death or not.
That is right and is how I saw things as I wrote this piece of flash fiction.
I’m taking a contrary position. I loved the introspection and coming to terms with what happened but I don’t think he should shoulder responsibility for her death.
In some ways you are right, for there where challenging family dynamics within her upbringing.
Cause of death is such an interesting thing. They write down heart attack, when there was more than likely a smorgasbord of contributing factors. Chocolate cake, beer, arguments…the list goes on.
I am poised with a decaf cup of tea and should be asleep but the house is blissfully quiet after the rabble has one to sleep. I can be my own person and I cherish this time a bit too much.
[Your opening line is a story in its self] There is nothing wrong with cherishing me time, I do love having family around and company visiting – but I also need quite a bit of me time, time to reflect and write – and have Chocolate cake and a mug of tea.
I’ve been talking to a few people about striving for balance today and that’s what I’m also working towards with intimacy and solitude. Like you I also need a lot of time to write, read etc, although I do much of that at night with the family around. I’m rather non-stop but there is that quiet, solitary end of the day, which I savour. BTW we’re nibbling away on a chocolate crunchie Easter bunny with my decaf tea at the moment. Yum!
It’s good to be happy, I had to stop the chocolate, I was nibbling to fast.
Michael, last night my parents came up for my daughter’s birthday and we cracked open this special chocolate we’d bought in Tassie: https://anvers-chocolate.com.au/dark-fortunato-no-4-peru/
It was a beautiful chocolate. My husband found it a little bitter, which surprised me as I usually have a sweeter tooth than him and I loved it.
Hope you’ve had a good week. I missed Friday Fictioneers this week what with my daughter’s birthday and losing track of the week.
xx Rowena
That sounds like a great chocolate. I enjoy trying different types of honey, next week I will be tasting a honey from north Germany.
It’s not easy to face the truth when you’ve found excuses for too long. Atl least he’s ready to do that now. Great story.
it’s time for him to move on and not dwell on the past.
That is true, and he will in time.
There’s so much in this, great piece of writing. Whether he should bear the burden or not, he will. Great emotional writing
He will bear the burden but writing about it will help him. Thank you for the lovely comment.
I like this political piece. Health is truly a political industry now. I loved the many layers to this one.
That is a great comment, thank you. Mike
Whilst he obviously didn’t treat her well, blaming himself for her death is probably a bit harsh!
That is true, writing about what happened will be cathartic for him
Oh those damn cigarettes and the drink topped with high stress … that will kill you.
Great story, Michael. I liked the build up.
Isadora
I am pleased you enjoyed the build up, it was great to get your feedback. Thank you.
I hope he learns to move on.