Michael, now that you are eight, you must start taking more care of yourself. We will start with your feet, it is time for you to have some proper shoes. Today we are going to visit my mother in Oxford, and later find you some shoes. Whilst we are in Oxford we can go to the museum of natural history and learn about how the dinosaurs looked after their teeth. It’s really time you started to clean your teeth better.

Now before we set off, let’s get you out of those ragged summer clothes. They need to go to the rag and bone man. Your father’s mother has reworked a pair of shorts and a shirt which should fit you. And my mum has knitted a pullover for you. Off you go and get a bath. We will be calling in at Lewis Carroll’s ‘old sheep shop’ and you can have a treat if you scrub up clean… Mum, can I have the old clothes for a guy? Clive said we are going to build a bonfire and that we will need to make a guy.

Footnotes.
Genre: My memoirs.
Today my story is quite apt, as I have just returned from the dentist minus a tooth. Ouch.