Shadowlands
The instructions had been clear, she was to transfer five million euros to a off shore account. She had then been told to fly out to Monaco where she had been ordered to drive to Spain. Now she was walking down this isolated alley and looking for a blue door.
Your new passport senorita, enjoy Colombia. Light and shadows that’s all Carol saw. She could not really know what awaited her when she finally turned the corner at the end of the alley and left her old life behind. So why did she feel as if she was on a downward path to hell.
This Post Has 33 Comments
I don’t think this is going to end well for her. Nice story.
I think that you may be right. Mike
I have a feeling that Columbia has something sinister to offer.
That’s so true. Mike
I share her apprehension, I think. Nicely done.
She is set on a downward spiral and now knows it.
Exchanging one prison for another?
So right, Mike
Poor girl, but she made her choice. Alas, once one goes down that path, it’s hard to make one’s way back. Well-written story!
Thank you. This was a strange story, It started out as a kidnapping, then changed into drug trafficking. Neither type of story is my usual forte.
I always wonder how people who write mysteries and thrillers do what they do. There’s so much to know and learn about!
I thought you did a great job of making it more an internal struggle. That worked for me.
It’s was great to get your feed back, thank you. Mkie
This piece made me anxious. Good job.
Tracey
Thank you Tracy It also made me anxious, as I was not writing about familiar subjects, as my initial idea was to write about a kidnapping that went wrong.
My stories often take a detour along the way. It’s best not to fight it. ha ha
Great suspenseful buildup. I’m glad you got out of the comfort zone on this one. I understand completely how that feels since I wrote a few stories that really weren’t my forte, either.
Did a great job, Michael! Congratulations on the courage to do it.
Thank you for your kind comments, I will try and be more flexible. Mike
Sadly, I don’t think her future is bright!
I hope that we are both wrong Claire.
Dear Michael,
Nice build of tension.I want to tell her to turn back and run.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you Rochelle, I think that you call it right.
This is not boding well. I hope she gets second thoughts and runs. Good suspense.
She so deep in the system now that I think it’s to late to run, then again.
It does sound like she’s getting deeper and deeper into something which is fast spiralling out of her control.
Interesting twist at the end. “Left her old life behind”, normally a line about redemption, but “downward spiral to hell” indicates loss. I hope she finds redemption.
Sadly her new life is looking worse than the one that she is leaving behind.
This would make a great set up for a novel.
Thank you Alice, you may write it for me, then again I have just had a thought about dropping her character into one of my many unfinished stories. Thank you for the idea. Mike
Oh how very ominous!
Hi Dawn, you are right when I wrote this piece of fiction, the outcome I had in mind was very ominous. But now I am not so sure, perhaps a knight in shining armour will rescue her.
Yay! 🙂
Good tension, Mike. She must have that terrible feeling for some reason. It sounds as if she’s cut herself off from her past for good and that’s scary. The man who gave her the passport seemed like a slimy character. It doesn’t bode well for her. Good writing. 🙂 — Suzanne
Thank you, Suzanne, I really appreciate your comments, the discipline of working within one hundred words is good for me. Happy writing Mike.