Lost Dream
May I thank all of you who take the time to follow my blend of storytelling. Getting feedback and knowing that my output is seen is rewarding, so my thanks are overdue to Rochelle who ensures that the Friday Fictioneers site run smoothly. There is a quite a variety of flash fiction on offer on the Friday Fictioneers site, so if possible do check some out.
I knew the first time I called at your house that I loved for you. You thought it was puppy love.
You said that you needed to go, to help those in need in Africa. The moment that car hit your scooter it stole my heart.
This Post Has 44 Comments
Dear Michael,
Oh dear. Sad story that leaves the reader hanging and wanting to know more. Nicely done.
Thank you for your kind words. You and other writers in this community are the reason I keep at it.
Shalom,
Rochelle
There is definately a story behind this piece of flash fiction,
Swift and suprising as that speeding car
Thank you Neil, for your incisive feedback.
There’s almost no more to be said. A whole life in a few seconds.
That’s so kind. Thank you.
So sad, Mchael. From love to heart break in a few lines. Great tale
I am glad my story came over. Thank you
A short and brutal piece of writing.
I am pleased it came over in that way. Thank you greatly for the feedback.
This is exactly what I was going to say. Thanks for saving me the typing Iain.
Iain’s comments are always to the piont and welcome, as are yours.
So much said in half the allotted words! Brilliantly done, Michael.
And great preamble. The sharing and responding to of each other’s stories is so important for this group to really work.
Until joining Friday Fictioneers I was not known for brevity in my writing. I will try to do better at giving good quality feed back.
You do very well with the commenting, Michael!
And FF is fabulous for honing our writing skills, don’t you think?
FF is a great resource and can really help hone skills. I do enjoy seeing now differently prompts are interpreted.
It is, for sure!
I do, too!
there can be no sadder ending.
That is true, thank you,
As others have said, a lot covered in a few lines. I hope as the story unfolds we’ll learn that the loved one died doing what he/she felt called to do.
They really did, and if possible were missed more for that.
So very sad. And heartfelt.
It was, and is. But that is life.
Wow, abruptly ended just as it was getting started.
Big impact.
Sadly to many people are now experiencing this type of sadness from acts of terrorism
Sad, your narrator never got the chance to prove their love was real.
Their future life may indicate what might have been.
A powerful tale. I wish I could write something with such an impact.
But you do, I very much liked your latest two stories, and I thank you for them and your comment
What a sad story… it could be the beginning of a longer story…
There was a much longer story behind Lost Dreams, but it is to sad to tell. If I could only write poetry, I think the poem would cause people to cry.
The contrasting emotions from the beginninng to the end of your short tale is brilliant.
Click to read my story
I really appreciate your comment, thank you.
your story broke my heart. Brilliant.
Then I must mend it.
So sad. I hope this is fiction.
Thank you Dawn, there is a small bit of my early life in this piece of autobiography fiction.
Heartbreaking.
Such events are heartbreaking, thank you for your feed back.
You’re welcome.
You’ve gone short again but very impact full. (Pun not intended)
Sometimes short says all that can be told. Thank you Michael for the feedback
Short piece, wonderfully written.
Thank you Fatima, for your kind comment, it is appreciated