Joanna
Joanna was tired… she went to bed without thinking.
Leaving a small wall vent open.
A vile vapour entered.
A sadness gripped her dreams. Allowing a deep cold to enter her body.
It became a poisonous snake in her life.
Those who did not know her, called her cold hearted.
Yet many where the gifts she sent anonymously to the poor
At her death, a demon arrived and smote the snake.
A million children sang for her, whilst angels carried her to the stars.
For the present time I am using much energy up dating reams of writing notes, so many slivers of material. ‘Joanna’ is one fragment from the mountain. Mike
magical Michael! I liked the confusion that she was cold-heated
I really appreciated this comment, thank you Neil
Very textured writing and the metaphors are sharp.
It was good to read your feedback, thank you.
Dear Michael,
Quite an enchanted tale. Nicely done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Sorry that I was rather late to the party. I very appreciate you taking the time to give feedback, thank you Rochelle