Dreaming
Richard saw the power boat heading into New York bay. Where it had come from or where it was going he could only imagine. He knew what would be happening if he was her captain. They would be heading east towards the lower bay for a days fishing, just like he used to do with his dad. As he squashed another flea, he wondered had he not turned to drink, then walked out on Pamula and the kids, might he have been going fishing today. As he stepped off the quay and felt the water close over him, he wondered …
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Neat tale, cleverly unfolded.
I very much appreciate your comment. Thank you. Mike
A moment of desperation nicely observed.
Thank you Sandra,
I liked the way you conveyed his desperation with calm words
He was calm and sad, and very good at swimming when young. I hope that he finds strength to fight for his life and wins.
Oh noooo, I was hoping for a positive turn.
I hope that he will fight for life and win, as the water closes over him.
Sometimes dreams cease, and you hit that dead end… I think it’s never too late to make a turn
That is so true and important to remember. Thank you.
Despairing… but maybe that cold water might wake him up to reality and he’ll swim up and try life again.
Might check spelling on the first sentence, the word “imagine” instead of “imagining.” Should be stepped “off” the quay instead of “of” the quay. Take care of that, you’re home free.
Great story, Mike.
I am not sure where this story came from, I set out writing a very different piece. I also hope the shock of the water makes him fight for his life. Thank you for the corrections, it is appreciated. Mike
Wonder if he is escaping the consequences of his actions!
It takes guts to face them and rectify. Never too late to change!
That’s true, thank you for taking the time to comment. Mike
Dear Michael,
You captured that last moment of desperation well. I’m like Kent, I hope the cold water wakes him up to better options and a swim to safety.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you Rochelle, he was in a bad place, but the cold water will trigger a desire to live and he is a strong swimmer. Mike
Powerfully written. It seems nothing will deter him, he’s thinking of other things as though his suicide is routine.
He was in a bad place, but he wants to recover, and will swim. Thank you for your supportive comments. Mike
I hope he swims. When you’re at the bottom, the only way is up. Great story.
He is a good swimmer, and he wants to recover, the cold water will trigger in him, a strong desire to live. Thank you for your comment. Mike
Life is full of “what-ifs,” but every day is a gift. That’s why they call it the present. Perhaps he’ll unwrap it and see that there is a beautiful new future inside.
That’s a great way of looking at things. I hope he has the ability to unwrap and start again. Thank you. Mike
A delightfully different take on the prompt. Maybe memories of his dad will bring him back. Well told.
Thank you. It always amazes me how different everyone of us tells the story from the same prompt. Mike
So sad…
He had lost his respect for himself, however he is strong swimmer. Thank you for commenting.
Good story, Mike. I also hope the cold water brings him to his senses and he fights for life. It sounds as though he has time to turn things around. Good writing. —- Suzanne