An Unsure Future
Dominic had taken charge of our ancestors urns. Their colourful exteriors belying their contents. With the history of our race contained within they are the key to our future. The authorities do not wish us to have a future, for our religion is feared.
The only route left open to us, a rusting suspension bridge. With Dominic leading the way I crossed in horror, for I had seen the ants chewing through the rotten supportive rope ties. Leaving our burnt out village behind, I could only trust that what waited ahead, surely must be better than the raging river below.
This Post Has 45 Comments
That has the makings of a great saga
I thank you kind sir. If only I had the stamina of old.
Religious persecution at it’s worst – all too real. Nicely done.
Thank you Iain, I dislike religious persecution of any kind,
Leaves one wanting for more.
Thanking you Yarnspinnerr, I wish that I had the mental stamina, maybe in time.
I’m with yarnspinner. More, please 🙂
Thanking you granonine, I will have to find more stamina first.
That was a great opener to a potential longer story, Michael! I could so feel their tension.
Thank you Dale. There are so many stories that I need to develope.
I feel you!!
This has great potential, Michael. I’d love to read more.
Thank you Varad, I have so many stories that I desire to develope more!
Whoa! The ants. What a great bit in the story. Well done.
Thank you so much, Alicia
Cheerful as ever, Michael!
Nicely written.
Cheerfully sad that me, always happens when I get philosophical.
You’ve left us all wanting more! Excellent.
Click to read my FriFic!
Thank you Keith, I enjoy reading your postings, I try to comment, not sure if my comments get through.
Great build-up, Michael. Wonder where and what the story would finally lead to. Amazing work!
That is so kind. I also wish that I had the drive to develope this story, but then perhaps some stories are best left unfinished. I find it all to easy to sometimes spoil them!
Dear Michael
Tense and riveting.
Shalom,
Rochelle
So pleased to hear that from a great writer like you. Thank you Rochelle
All too real. I hope they make it to safety and can live in peace.
I am not sure that I could see their future. Safety and peace is so important
The vision of ants chewing the bridge ropes, the river below, you paint an a strong picture of fear and desperation.
Thank you Sarah, desperation was what I was aiming for. I am pleased to know that came over.
I wonder if they make it across the bridge. Great story!
I did write a longer version of this story, in which the bridge fell, but they survived. So far.
Ah, good to know. Are you going to continue writing the story?
I would never say no. But at present I am about to try and put together a novella length book. Plus I hope to design the cover and some illustrations myself. I am also working on three differing Model Railway layout and various other projects. I once joked that if I lived to be five hundred years old, I would still not have finished all the stories that I have started.
I think it’s great to have so many projects on the go. When you’re doing something for yourself rather than for someone else, you don’t need to worry about deadlines.
Hi Magarisa, these days deadlines just cause me to go slower,
I think it’s great to have so many projects on the go; it keeps the mind active. When you’re doing something for yourself, you don’t need to worry about deadlines.
That was a thought provoking little tale.
Susan A Eames at
Travel, Fiction and Photos
Thank you Susan, thought provoking is so right
Very evocative, Michael. The first steps into the unknown with no way back. They have no choice but you just know it’s going to be dangerous
That’s true Michael, thank you. There are so many short stories and pieces of flash that I would like to develope more.
I hope they make it across with their precious urns. I wonder why the urns are so vital to the continuation of their religion.
Now that’s the question I wanted to ask them.
Scary stuff – I would love to read the rest of the story!
Thank you Liz, I would I think enjoy writing it, but time is against me.
Good story, one of your best.
It is lovely to get such a cdomment, thank you Dawn
Y/W