A Writers Lament
In the year 2727 the authorities found the last independent writer. Her den was a redundant canning plant. In their usual style they destroyed as much evidence of her existence as was possible. As usual they set fires and then blamed arsonists. As for Yvonne, she would be transported along with all the other undesirables, once the time travel glitch was fixed.
Now that using time travel to reach the past was out. The authorities decided to revisit the twentyfirst century experiment with cloning. Hoping to clone human blanks and then use time travel to transport the misfits to the underground mines at Mercury.
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Nice idea, but I am a bit confused about the last paragraph. Did you mean the first sentence to be only partial? And I loved the story of Yvonne, so I’m not sure I wanted to be taken away from it and given an explanation.
I think that you are right, I was wondering about what would happen to Yvonne, and then combined her story with my two past stories about time travel. I have slightly rewritten the last paragraph. This week I struggled to work within the limit of one hundred words
It’s always so hard to keep within the 100 words.
It is a challenge, sometimes it is better to use less words. I perhaps should have left the second paragraph out altogether.
A vignette that shows the power of the written word and how control of it should be resisted. Apt on many levels today, not least the terrorism war and the general election coverage!
I am so pleased that you picked up on part of my motivation for writing the Writers Lament.
Like Claire, I felt this tried to go in too many directions at once. The first paragraph entranced me. The second paragraph confused me
I think that you are right, I was wondering about what would happen to Yvonne, and then combined her story with my two past stories about time travel. I have now slightly rewritten the last paragraph. This week I struggled to work within the limit of one hundred words. This story developed as I was thinking about the tragic events at Manchester, and wondered about the power of the internet.
Dear Michael,
I’m not sure that traveling to the twenty-first century will solve any problems. Like Claire and Neil, I think the first paragraph worked…not so sure what was happening in the second.
Shalom,
Rochelle
I think that you are right, I was wondering about what would happen to Yvonne, and then combined her story with my two past stories about time travel. I have slightly rewritten the last paragraph. This week I struggled to work within the limit of one hundred words.
I’d love to know more about Yvonne, Michael.
Me to, but the authorities have hidden all her work. I will have to do some digging.
It happens, the struggle to condense dense thoughts into 100 words. Must say we all improve that way. Can definitely say that for myself. As i deal with one flash fiction challenge after another almost every single day, i have come to know that it has only sharpened not just my powers of observation but also the mechanism by which to capsule into a reader worthy shoe string budget of a mere 100 words.
Well done, Michael.
Thank you Neel, I do agree that trying to condense a story into 100 words, can really makes me think about structure and word use.
I agree with other commenters on this, Michael. I found it had too many elements in the second paragraph.
xx Rowena
You are right Rowena, I did try to put alot in this post. I thank you for your feedback it will keep me on my toes, so to speak.
I had some feedback myself this week and made a few changes. Trying to fit the word count got me this week and needed to expand the last line a little.
There seemed to be a lot of threads in this for 100 words, but the concept is excellent.
Thank you Sandra, perhaps there were too many threads, I sometimes need to take more time to review what I have written, I do believe that I could have done a better job with A Writers Lament!
Subtle and many layered. Alas if only we could detect a gene for pathological violence and deprt these people to some planet in outer space.
Many recent events like the one which happen at Manchester, do make me question some basic mental traits within humanity. I know how easily human beings can take umbrage with one another. But the desire to punish innocent families is pure evil
True and so topical.
Oh oh, pretty sinister. Wonder what inhuman heights we would reach!
Hopefully we will never reach such heights
Hopefully!
I think we should fear the future… a Fahrenheit 451 image for me.
Thank you Bjorn. The overturned chair led me to think about someone sat writing, and then the building looked burnt. I had my story. I do really hope that my story does not come to pass
I like how you expanded your time travel story to cover this weeks photo. It worked.
Thank you. I saw a burnt out building and an over turned chair. The first part of the story wrote its self. I did however really struggle with the time travel element. I do feel that I should/could have done better.
We always feel like that. Sometimes you just have to push Submit anyway.
This has the feel of a longer story condensed. A bleak future you envisage.
Yes, frequently observant writers are the undesirable!
Thank you Sascha. I understand how you feel about Styrofoam.
More about Yvonne please! Where exactly did they send her and could she make any life for herself there? What’s so darn awful about writers anyway? Are they too freethinking for the authorities? Intriguing Michael
Thank you Lynn. Sadly my story telling this week was affected by events in Manchester a city I know well and enjoy visiting. In my writing this week, the authorities are those who encourage, finance and direct suicide bombers. Whilst the writers are ordinary individuals just trying to get on with living the life that they have been born into.
A sad time for a lovely city
A very sad time for all, especially writers,
Totally different, and refreshing. Gosh writers don’t have it easy do we? Nice story Michael.
Thank you Fatima. Being able to write, is to me akin to holding a very powerful tool. I do sometimes wonder how many former authors would change what they have written.
Writers are the true fighters…
I think you’ve gotten enough comments on the second paragraph! I shall not add!
Thank you Dale. My story telling this week was affected by events in Manchester a city I know well and enjoy visiting. In my writing this week, the authorities are those who encourage, finance and direct suicide bombers. Whilst the writer is an ordinary individual just trying to get on with living the life that she have been born into. I rather over complicated thing by trying to also wrap up my time travel story. Which with hind sight was silly.
Please, we could feel your sentiment. How can one not be affected by such a horrid act?
A totalitarian state scared of the written word by people they’re not controlling. Chilling stuff, reminded me of Fahrenheit 451.
Thank you for the compliment, Fahrenheit 451 will more than do for me.
Agreed on the first paragraph, great follow up from last week
Thank you, Michael
It seems no independence is tolerated in that time. All they want are workers. What a terrible place. Good writing, Mike —- Suzanne
Thank you Suzanne,
I would like to know about Yvonne! To be the last writer would be so lonely. You showed her situation well.
Thank you Alicia, I also would be pleased if I learnt more about Yvonne.
The first paragraph was perfectly self contained. I did want to know more, of course, but there was enough there to set my imagination going.
Thank you Sarah.
Interesting concept … not sure if the 21st century is worth the repeat.
Isadora
I really pray and do hope that the 21 century will be remembered for positive reasons