Unknown
“What is it Simon”. “I’m not sure Rod”.
S. “Could it be one of those mythical dragons that dad keeps going on about”.
R. “Might be, anyway we can’t eat it, so it’s not much use to us”.
S. “It could be turned into a shelter Rod, you know like in the old days when people lived in houses. I think that I might have liked to live in a house”.
R. “I know brother”.
S “Let’s looking inside”.
R “Phew something’s beaten us to it. It stinks”.
S “You think dragons stinked Rod”.
R “How’d do I know”.
Footnote: How you interpret this is up to you dear reader. For myself I heard and saw two ragamuffin’s in a post apocalyptic worlds
This Post Has 62 Comments
I saw it pretty much the way you did, Michael. Interesting take on the prompt.
Thank you Sandra,
Good to know ragamuffins will survive the apocalypse!
They where pleased also, thank you Iain
Like cockroaches
Cockroaches do have a bad press
As did I. Excellent picture painted through your dialogue.
I was unsure of the dialogue flow, so I am right pleased to get your feedback, thank you Violet.
Whatever it was/is, the stink is enough to keep them away, I should think,
Dale I did not hang around long enough to find out what was causing the stink
Dear Michael,
Imaginative take on the prompt. I pretty much saw it the way you meant it.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you Rochelle, I appreciate you taking the time to comment. Sadly commenting is something that I find most difficult.
I hope they are not headed down the dragon’s esophogus.
They so nearly did…
Something dead means something that kills is nearby. Better watch out!
They moved away quite quickly. You are doing much better than me this week. I am struggling to find my commenting muse.
It’s hard sometimes. When each post is so well- written, it’s hard to find something unique to say. What a talented bunch!
Talented and fascinating
Good interchange, Michael, nicely developed story.
Thank you, I very much appreciate this comment
I saw it the same way Michael, so no concerns on comprehension in this one I guess.
Mowgli speaks well,
Ha ha ha
Hi Michael,
Great story here. After reading your comment about the flow, I re-read it and noticed quite a few changes I would make to the punctuation.
Firstly, unless this is intended to be a play, I’d take out the letters at the start of each line.
Secondly, I pick out a sentence and reviewed the punctuation but you and others might not agree with my take and that’s fine.
“It could be turned into a shelter, Rod. You know, like in the old days when people lived in houses. I think that I might have liked to live in a house.”
You’ll notice too the the full stop goes before the quotation marks.
I am a Grammar Nazi.
Best wishes,
Rowena
Rowena, I was pleased to see an alternative sentence construction. During my English classes in junior school, due to a local shortage of teachers we had French and American teachers. My English punctuation is well and truly scrabbled
Having a French person teaching you English Grammar could be a real problem. I can’t quite think off the top of my head whether their word order is different but I think so. When I was in Year 6 at primary school, we did what felt like a Grammar intensive and I really struggled and then later on what with modern writing styles, punctuation went out the door and you just wrote from that deep reservoir within and didn’t need to constrain it with Grammar. However, over the last ten years, I’ve worked on it a bit. A good rule of thumb is to add a comma where you would take a breath in speech. It’s become more intuitive for me these days and what sounds right. I’m also something of an amateur violinist from a family of musicians so that also influences my writing. It has to sound right. Hope that helps a little.
Best wishes,
Rowena
I am jealous, music is the stuff of magic… I grew up in a rural area with strong accents and no stopping to breath! So it seems that I am a right mixture, but I get by. Many teachers tried to straighten me out, at first I must have been something of a nightmare for most of them
You can also have too much polish. So, there’s a fine line and I think everyone likes to hear something which is close to their own voice.
I do agree, thank you Rowena
Very creative story!
Enjoyed the post apocalyptic conversation between the two.
So pleased to read your comment
Nice place to live, be it post apocalypse or pre apocalypse. Only problem is the stink. May be someone else is already there. No very hygienic, it appears.
Perhaps the car is used as a nest by the young of wild boar or even dragons!
I think you captured the post apocalyptic scenery well…
Thank you Björn
Never mind the stink, it’s out of the weather!
That’s true, thank you draliman
I think the smell is a rotting corpse in the back seat, but I do like a macabre mystery
No rotting corpse, but perhaps a nest of wild boars, or even young dragons
in a post apocalyptic world, everything can be seen in a different light. 🙂
That is true, writing about a apocalyptic world give me freedom to explore ideas.
An intriguing and unique story, I like it a lot. Let them think it’s a dragon, that keeps them away. I think it might be a badger or some other species from that family, like a marten or weasel. They stink. A lot.
You have me remembering times past and differing furry animals.
This dialogue dances.
What a lovely comment, thank you.
Such an imagination Michael. And good story
gramswisewords.blogspot.com
I very much enjoyed ‘Hidden’. For me anything is of use. I see magic in old abandoned cars,
Probably the last driver of the car is still inside since the apocalypse. Sounds like the brothers are looking out for each other.
I think that the former occupants of the car are long gone, eaten perhaps
I saw the same, Michael. Wondering where these poor lads live, in the woods, all alone. Interesting take on the prompt
Thank you Lynn, I read your take on the prompt and enjoyed it, as I did your interview with Iain
Thank you Michael. My pleasure 🙂
A clever take on the prompt, a post-apocolyptic world where Rod and Simon know nothing of the world before. I enjoyed the dialogue!
Thank you Brenda, I do enjoy the challenge of flash stories; sadly I am not very gifted at ‘constructive’ commenting.
That’s not true, Michael. Your comments are always encouraging and welcome!
It is kind of you to say so. Thank you Brenda.
Michael, read your footnote and re-read it, and finally got it! Sometimes the mind takes longer to understand. 🙂
I struggled with the flow of Unknown. My muse took around twelve attempts to bring this piece of flash to a completion. I am grateful that you preserved, thank you Anshu
Great take, I’m sure dragons do stink
Thank you Micheal, I then to give dragons a wide birth.
Clever & vivid.
I am grateful for such a kind comment,