Antony
Marie Gail Stratford
Now remember Antony take the next left. Take lots of care darling. Keep on the side walk like I have shown you. Look out for the crossing sign. Then straight on till you reach the park gates.
But mummy do I have to go over ground ? Why can’t I take the subway.
Not today darling. It’s a holiday.
But mummy their legs are so big.
I know dear, but today is a special day, it will be fun, it’s all part of growing up dear. When you get there, you can play with the other children, have candy.
Off you go now. Remember I love you. …
I am grateful to Rochelle for managing the Friday Fictioneers site: And for all those who post their flash fiction here. This has allowed and encouraged me to review many of the aspects of writing my personal flash fiction. Unfortunately my faulty schoolboy grammar seems a permanent feature.
This Post Has 35 Comments
Sweet story, Michael. Nice dialogue.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you Rochelle.
I’ll echo Rochelle’s response. Sweet dialogue. You have the boy’s voice down pat.
All my best,
Marie Gail
Hi Marie, I had initially intended to put one last word after the last full stop. Then I changed my mind. That word was Splat for Antony was an ant.
Oh this is such a cute take on it 🙂 hope he wasn’t squashed.
Cheers.
It felt quite sinister that Mummy was sending little Antony off to the park on his own. I was wondering why she wanted him out of the way. Now I find I am rooting for Antony the ant and hoping survives his day at the park 🙂
We all have to walk out by ourselves one day.
I love that you saw a different take on the situation to me.
Good tale, a great adventure on the way.
Being let loose once was a time for adventure. Thanks for reading.
A worrying time for a parent, letting the little one loose in the big city.
That’s for sure, but the must come a time? Thanks for reading
So glad I found out he’s an ant!
Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. It’s great to share idea’s
I’m glad you left that last word out. You had me wondering with the big legs… I was thinking mouse, or maybe rat… it’s a sweet story in any case.
About the grammar: have you tried paperrater? (http://www.paperrater.com/). English is not my first language and I’m often insecure, then this site helps me with the more basic stuff. For longer pieces I ask my beta reader, but I usually throw out my blog posts un-beta’ed.
I will look at paperrater.com. It’s great to share idea’s. Thank you, Mike
Anthony the Ant was such a sweetie 😉
O thank you Helen, so pleased if this comment means that your writing again
I’ll watch out for Antony when I’m walking. Nice dialogues.
I believe that at present he is in Peru, on holiday
I hope the little fella doesn’t get squashed!
Me to. Thanks for reading
Thank you, my original response to the photo prompt was much bleaker, but as I wrote Antony things lightened, thanks for your comments
Dark is okay with me. 🙂 I have written a lot of dark tales, too. 🙂 But I love this as it is. 🙂
@rosemawrites from
A Reading Writer
Interesting piece on Schiophobia
oh thank you for reading it. 🙂
Thank you, this piece started off so much darker,
Dark is good, for me. 🙂 I am also guilty in writing a lot of dark and tragic pieces. 🙂
@rosemawrites from
A Reading Writer
I love to write except Romance. But Poetry often fox’s me Thanks
oh… 🙂
I am not sure if my comment/reply has been posted. BEen trying thrice already.
@rosemawrites from
A Reading Writer
It’s Ok, I do the same. Mike
sorry! there are a looot of comments posted.
I wondered what Antony was…I was thinking a rat. Nice “coming of age” tale.
What a charming story. I was a bit concerned about Mummy Ant’s motives in sending Antony off alone, and I hope he makes it to the park unsquashed.
Giving freedom is always risky, I expect she followed him to check all was OK