Something is Different
Kaliq knew that he was closing the door of the factory for the very last time. He turned and looked at Jemelda, and the tears running down her cheeks. Don’t cry my love, it was fated to be so. We will build a better bigger factory in the next world.
As the masked soldiers led them away Kaliq saw mountains encased in a overarching deep blue. Look Jemelda, our lord smiles for us.
Kaliq looked at the soldiers, one had the pale skin common to Northern Europeans. Did she understand Kaliq’s refusal to produce ammunition for her terrorist brethren.
Footnote: I expect to have limited access to the internet for a short period, so my replies to readers comments may be slow. But please comment, I am pleased to understand how my flash fiction comes over.
This Post Has 31 Comments
Challenging theme
That is true, I thought that I had changed the title, – it should read [Something is Different] linking to a Northern European female being part of the execution squad.
One man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter – but there are always innocent victims. Nice work.
To many innocences- thank you Iain
The terrorist tourist leaving our world to wage war on the other side of the world is chilling…
I agree – I find it evil that those who benefit from living in liberal countries feel entitled to force other who are less fortunate to conform
When you have a life principle you stick to it, that’s integrity. A soldier pledges devotion to his own cause. That’s loyalty. I suspect the two often find themselves at odds.
I doubt the soldier would consider why he won’t make their ammo. They tend to see things as, “You’re on our side or theirs.”
I find it evil that those who benefit from living in liberal countries feel entitled to visit other countries to force other who are less fortunate to conform
I agree with Khaliq. No matter how just the cause or terrorist or otherwise, making guns and killing is hardly the way to fight for your cause.
I am of the same idea. Thank you for taking the time to comment.
Dear Michael,
I feel for Khaliq.
Shalom,
Rochelle
Thank you Rochelle – I am glad my character came over.
I had to read it twice to get the full meaning. Please forgive me–I’m an English teacher 🙂 –I would like to say that appropriate punctuation would have cleared it up for me the first time through. Very challenging theme, for sure.
Sorry Granonine – Punctuation is my downfall. Sadly I was always bottom of my school in English studies. My mind just does not relate to Grammar. There are several causes for this.
I’m fully aware that the fine points of punctuation can be very difficult for a lot of people. One trick I offered my students was to read their writing aloud. Anywhere you naturally pause, there should be a period, or a comma. And any time people are speaking, there should be quotation marks. And now I’m removing my teacher hat. I really did enjoy your story 🙂
You have just reminded me of my favourite teacher at Bradford university. Jane was shocked at the length of my sentences, saying that they were longer than most people paragraphs. In my early upbringing in rural Oxfordshire, the colloquial language was rather singsong, with many words joined together.
Each village had a differing style. When the telephone arrived, the telephonist’s had quite a difficult time. It was only the coming of the BBC’s Queens English that changed the status quo. If I read aloud I even now hardly pause for breathe. [This homily had to have many surplus words and letter e’s removed.]
I’m so glad I reminded you of your favorite teacher and not the other kind 🙂
Challenging and timely theme. It’s an interesting twist to introduce a European in what I assume is not a European country. Interesting and disturbing, Michael
I agree – sadly quite a few privileged western born individuals feel entitled to force their beliefs on others who are less privileged
I fear Khaliq is a little naive. However, I do appreciate his faith in God.
I did wonder what I would do in his situation, I think emigrate would now be the answer.
You’ve written a moving story, Michael. It’s an abstract theme – you’re really saying that violence is a bad way of resolving political differences. However, you’ve made the two main characters people for whom we feel empathy, and even admiration, and made their fate the illustration of why violence is wrong. That’s good writing..
Thank you Penny, you are I think right in how you saw the theme of my story. At the present time my writing can be rather philosophical. Although I realise that to really understate most situations one often needs to live within a environment. Being rural English by birth I find it almost impossible to put myself in some situations like the war in Syria.
I feel this story is written from the perspective of countries such as Afghanistan or Iraq, and how they may perceive western ideals and judgement being forced upon them. And through war too. But I could be wrong in my interpretation of your story. Very moving tale, and I think you have captured Khaliq’s bravery in the face of his trials.
Thank you Fatima. It is difficult to plan and place a story within a country which is in reality unknown to me.
Kaliq’s spirituality seems doomed by reality. Or does it… Enjoyed this, Michael. Good luck with your t’internet connections.
Thank you Kelvin,
I mistakenly linked the ‘she’ to Jemelda, not the NE soldier, which proved an interesting diversion until I cleared that up.
Sorry Sandra, I now see what you meant. I am pleased that you told me. I will attempt to alter the version that I print for my personal book. Always pleased to get gentle feedback.
Awesome take on the photo prompt
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Thank you, for the nice comment, I will return to check out your posting.