Strategy gone Wrong
No stopping unless you pay:
No entry to the city without the App.
No speeding, but be quick.
Ghostly images:
Abandoned buildings:
Death stalks a city.
Blackened windows scream:
Sounds reverberate, deserted pavements:
Walls bow, Smashed roads.
Empty doors cry:
Every thing turning to dust:
In the hollowed out city.
Devastating decay:
Life expired:
Strategies gone wrong.
Footnotes:
Trying something new this week: I am not sure about line three, nearly deleted it and placed [Deserted pavements] in it’s place. I would welcome comments.
Thank are due to Iain Kelly for the photo, and to PJ for the opportunity to try my various writing styles. Mike
This Post Has 16 Comments
Interesting take Mike, got a lot out of the prompt, and well worth experimenting with the different style, lots of powerful imagery.
Thank you Iain, I am so glad the imagery came over.
I have to agree with Iain. This is very powerful and chilling. Strategy certainly has gone wrong! Excellent Mike!
Thank you PJ, I am pleased that the chill came across, sadly for many cities can be unfriendly.
Powerful poetry. Can feel the disconnect and loss.
I am so glad that the underlying themes of this piece came over, thank you for taking the time to comment. Mike
I thought you achieved your intent very well Mike, well done and great imagery to reflect on.
Thank you so much Michael.
Excellent Michael. I absolutely like the rhythmic sing song sense of beat and movement leading up to that closing line. Bravo! By the way should it have been strategies? Just checking.
Thank you so much Neel, and I think that you are right about strategies
A well expressed poem, Michael. It really brings out the dark, unwelcoming side of run down inner city areas to me. I also think the line ‘No speeding, but be quick’ works well. I think it gives the impression that the city is not somewhere many people want to linger for long.
Thank you so much, I appreciate the feed back very much. Mike
Having lived in a few cities, the stark images you have brought to mind are so true, its not all bright lights. your second paragraph is my favourite.
Thank you, at times cities can be lonely places. Mike
Your image of empty doors crying is powerful. Interesting use of punctuation, too.
Ellespeth
Thank you Ellespeth, it was great to get your feed back. I am afraid the punctuation is all my own. Mike